The "Your My Day".... Or "Why I Don't Celebrate My Birthday"

When I was graduating from Law School I had 2 options: 1.- Getting my diploma at the offices of my University, or 2.- Going with the whole act, take the pictures, get in the podium, wear the toga... the whole nine yards. Option number 1 was cheaper and taking into consideration that I didn't want "the whole nine yards" I spoke to my dad, since he was paying for the whole thing, and told him about the thing. What did he said?

You're going with option 2. It's your graduation, it's important to you, you're having the whole nine yards.

Don't get me wrong, he didn't imposed that on me, it was more like he was trying to convince me that option 2 was actually what I wanted. Problem is... I was sure what I wanted... So I told him "Ok, you want the whole nine yards? Let's go with that, but let it be know that I am doing this for you, not for me. I don't want this, I want option 1... You don't. He looked at me funny for a second, but we agreed on that. The day came, I had "my" whole nine yards and after 6 or 5 years, I've never looked at those pictures/videos.

Same thing is with my birthdays.

I have never seen the point in celebrating my Birthday, I guess I see it a different way than you do. When I was a kid I saw it as one step closer to dying, which isn't necessarily a bad thing! I mean, dying is as much a part of living as puberty after all, but as I grew it hit me that a celebration is about having achieved something... And the only thing I have achieved on my birthday is... well... having grown enough for my mom's body to think is not wise to keep me in... or something. So I decided a long time ago that I have nothing to celebrate; I don't see it as an awesome day, I don't see it's importance, to me it's just another day.

Enter my family.

Don't get me wrong, I have a lot of cousins that are about the same age as I am and they are not to blame, I don't mind getting together and have a few laugh over a couple of beers, even though we do not have to wait for one another's Birthday to do that. The problem is my mom and dad and uncles and aunties and; you know, "old" people. I don't like to celebrate my birthday, but they do. So if they wanna sing Happy Birthday but I don't, I have to put up with it; if they wanna have a party but I just wanna go to bed because I have work to do the next day, I have to put up with it; if they wanna play music I DON'T like because the music that I DO like is not to THEIR liking, I have to put up with it; if they want me to behave in a certain way I do not want to, I have to put up with it; and worst of all... if I say I DON'T want to do what THEY want to do, I'm just being rude somehow. After a while, I started to dislike my birthdays. Why? Because It's not about me... It's about them. They like to make MY Birthday into something THEY can enjoy! And when they ask "what do you wanna do for your Birthday?" and I answer something different from what they are expecting they call me rude, inconsiderate, the Anti-Christ and a lot of other negative things.

I'm not making this up. It happened. Once I was really entertained playing Pro Evolution Soccer with a friend and my dad insisted strongly and repeatedly on me coming down so that they can sing Happy Birthday. So when I finally paused the game, told my friend to hold on a sec and went downstairs to meet my dad he asked me why must I be that way, why must I make them wait for me. I answer truthfully and honestly, "I don't wanna sing Happy Birthday", and then he asked why must I be like that? So rude, so inconsiderate with everyone's feelings. You might say "He's right, you know? You should think about what your family wants"... Well "What about what I want?!" says I. Fortunately I have my friends and cousins. People that say "Hey, you doing something for your birthday, man?" and people that's ok with me saying "Well, nothing really, you know me. But I'll be home if you wanna drop by" so they can answer "Cool, I'll meet you later then. Want a beer or something?" And I really hope this do not discourage them from keep asking that question in years to come.

See the difference between "Are you doing something later?" and "Come and do all these things we want you to do" .... because to me it's pretty clear, and like I said before, I want option 1, it's my family who wants option number 2.